My Baby Started A Gang War

My baby started a gang war. Well, at least he's starting one. Maybe, that's a little too strong, there's no bloods and crips, no gang colors, and bullets haven't flown just yet. But don't be mistaken, sides are being drawn. Except in this turf battle it's not East Coast versus West Coast, it is my parents versus the in-laws. Now to be honest my parents and the in-laws have been very polite in their limited interactions. But it is an amazing thing, the rights and privileges, your parents and in-laws receive and demand once you have a child. There's a transformation that takes place in switching your view of your parents from being your parent to being your child's grandparent. And there is a delicate balance, much like a turf war, that I as a parent have to be aware of.

It really isn't anything like that, but there is a sense in which attention and time will be fought over. My in-laws live close by in the next town over, and my parents live out of state six hours away. My child is now five months old and so my in-laws have had dibs on spending time with my littleman purely because they're so close. Outside of the occasional visit, my parents really haven't had the opportunity to spend much time with my boy. There's also a difference in how my little guy is viewed by both sets of grandparents. You see, my wife is an only child, and this is our first child making him their first grandchild. The only pride and bond stronger than a mothers is a first time grandmother! And sincerely she's been an amazing help. Now for me, I'm one of four boys and both of my older brothers have children. One has two and the other three. That makes my littleman grandchild number six for my parents. Now I know they love him just as equally as the others, but it's certainly a different experience than my wife's parents are going through. So there has been a pretty good balance...except my parent who were six hours away are now halfway through a move placing them now ten minutes away from us as they've purchased a new home in the same town! Now I'm excited about this, my wife is understandably a little nervous as any wife would be, but I believe my mother-in-law is pretty concerned. Now she's got someone who is honing in on her turf! So is there a way to keep my wife, parents, and parent-in-law all happy?! Maybe...but regardless of the outcome it's going to take some patience on all of our parts and calling a cease fire might also help.

Maybe you've felt or are feeling this struggle with the holidays coming up and trying to manage your relationships and the delicate balance of not hurting anyone's feelings while still trying to enjoy the holidays. In the Adams household we do the "every other" holiday routine. I'm sure many of you have certain traditions or practices. Maybe your family doesn't really do a whole lot for Thanksgiving, but Christmas is your big holiday, or maybe New Year's Eve. No matter what your tradition is, one tradition that is as old as time is this very struggle. Just remember the holidays are an opportunity to grow closer together as a family, even if you feel like pulling your hair out and just taking your wife and kids on a cruise to avoid it all, lol.

When it's all said and done, this stress is induced because you're loved and your family is loved. No gang...I mean family is perfect. Part of the fun is the chaos, the not knowing, and the attempted balance even if you never get it. You can never be loved by too many people. So even though you cannot choose who will love you, be glad they do, even if the way they show you causes some stress. Remember, how you treat your parents is how your child will most likely treat you...no need to make a child take up sides when we're all on the same team. Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays!!!