Trying To Hold My Baby Is Like Arm Wrestling A Greased Up Kracken

Trying to hold my baby is like arm wrestling a greased up kracken. I mean, it's like my child wants to be dropped! All the while bungee jumping off of my shoulder using my bottom lip as a tether. It's like he hit the three month mark and entered super squirmy mode. I can remember when I was so excited that he "found his hands." He'd sit their staring at them, moving them, and being entertained. But now he's starting to know how to use his hands...and even his feet! Both him and his hands and feet are conspiring against me, I just know it. When did the days of him being this limp wrapped up burrito looking thing go away. He used to be so calm, so docile...well pterodactyl screaming aside. I mean I used to think the little guy was boring because he didn't do anything, aside from eat, poop, cry, sleep, repeat. But now he's finding his personality, and oh my. Let's just say if he wasn't my son and we met at a party, we probably wouldn't hang out.

When did my son get so strong?! I feel like maybe this kid actually came from Krypton. If this kid's hand/foot eye coordination gets any better I'm going to need riot gear just to change his diaper. I remember when he first came home and how paranoid I was that I might drop him or I'd bump his soft spot and the parent police would come and take him and his little deflated head away. Now I'm starting to think it was all an act. He is way too strong for a baby. People who use that saying, "it's like taking candy from a baby" have obviously never tried to take something from my little guy's kung fu grip. It amazes me how quickly the little guy has changed...and with as clumsy as me and his mom is, that's a good thing. Babies need to be stronger by month two or three as that's when their parents are at their weakest and most uncoordinated due to sleep deprivation. But it really is an encouragement. Like the other day he went to hold the bottle I was feeding him and my mind instantly filled with joy thinking of the day he'd be able to hold the bottle on his own. And yes, this is exciting for more reasons than just finally being able to use two hands for something again.

Just as he's learning and growing in bodily strength he seems to be discovering his different emotions as well. He now knows that there's more to feel other than hungry, sleepy, and furious indignation. This is amazing, but can be exhausting. It wouldn't be as big of an issue if he had an attention span that was longer than a fruit fly, but unfortunately that is not the case. He can be in the middle of laughing and start to cry. He seems to experiencing all of these new emotions one right after another after another. My little bipolar dude. But I think all baby's are at least a little bipolar as they learn and grow. Some days it seems completely random, what he's feeling and how he's expressing himself...like through screaming as loudly as he can. It seems like he could be upset at first then you realize he's just testing his voice. And from what I understand from other parents who have bravely battled on the fields of child rearing, children will always test their limits. Whether the limits they have physically, or the limits you place for them.  

All this to say, he's starting to develop a personality. And I am incredibly grateful. He's no longer this lump of pink play-dough, but a little human-like person. My wife is convinced he's going to be like me...loud, obnoxious, and passionate. If I was anything like this little dude when I was a baby, Mom and Dad, I am so so sorry, lol. He is an amazing kid and I love him dearly. I don't know what exactly I thought fatherhood was going to be like. But it's an amazing thing to get to see this little formless thing take shape, and grow in so many ways. It makes me question if I'm still growing. Is there a point where we as adults become happy with our limits? Do we stop exploring and become content with our understanding of the world? I know I haven't, or at least if I did...this little guy is stretching and growing me, forcing me to look at the world brand new every day just like he is.

(My littleman, Gideon)