My Nipples Are Broken

My nipples are broken. Well, they're not broken, but they're not exactly designed to do what my baby boy would like them to do. One of the things my wife is passionate about in rearing our little poop goblin is breastfeeding. My wife has tirelessly worked on teaching Gideon how and where to get that nourishing elixir that he so desires every 2 hours like clockwork. They both have grown and learned together and are an awesome team. This is something that was certainly frustrating at the beginning and wasn't easy. But there's been an interesting shift I've experienced as mom and baby have bonded. So here's an example. Early on, maybe up until about week two if the little guy was hungry and fussing for some milk I could take him and walk around, do the daddy dance, and bounce him around to distract him from his little hunger pains until momma was ready to take him. But about week two something clicked in his little baby brain, and that was that he didn't like me any more. It's not that we had irreconcilable differences, it's just he now knew that it was mommy who had what he needed and no amount of dancing with dad was going to distract him from his goal...scream his little developing lungs out until he was in mommy's arms.  

My little boy doesn't like me anymore. While I know that may be a bit of an exaggeration, that's how it felt at first. It's still really early in this parenting game and I'm trying to find a spot and get into the grove of being a good dad. But what on earth can a dad do when he wants his mom?! Well, it didn't take me long to come to a conclusion based on this and a few other things I have observed up to this point. And that is, men and women are different. EPIPHANY!!! And moms and dads are different too! While this may not be groundbreaking news to you, our society and culture has done so much to try and tell us that men and women are equal as in the same. While if we're talking about value, yes we are both equal, if we're talking about importance, YES, we are both equal. But when it comes to form and function, we are definitely not equal, we are not the same. While mothers have gone on to have successful careers and fathers have become stay at home dads, there are very specific roles ingrained into our very genetics that come into play in parenthood. Don't believe me? Let dad try and breastfeed the kid for five minutes, enough said. When it comes to motherhood some things may feel like a mystery and I'm in no way saying it's easy, but there are several things that just come a little more naturally. There are no two ways about it, I am not a mom. I am not built to be a mom physically or mentally, I do not have the amazing endurance or selflessness required, nor the mammary glands for that matter. My wife is an amazing mom, and while that's no surprise, I am amazed at how seamlessly she seemed to transform and take on that challenge. So what's my role in all of this?

I do have a role, I'm a dad...but that doesn't seem to come as naturally. I had a friend tell me several weeks ago that early on in a child's life it's all about the mom and that it's not until about age ten that the child seems to be concerned about dad.  It was at that point that his own children started to come to him to learn and cared about what he had to say. I know he was overstating something he had learned in raising his own children, but it caused me to think. His point was that eventually the role of dad as teacher, protector, provider, and whatever else will come. All kids are different and so this happens at different times in different ways, but eventually my role as dad will become more clear. And hopefully when my kids are ready I'll be there ready too. And even though the right now is fuzzy, I am learning and I am growing even if I don't know what I am just yet.